Blessings in disguise

Praying for blessings, having faith to be healed, praying for delieverance are good things to pray for. Francis Chan challenges us to ask yourself this: Are you more in love with what God can do for you then you are in love with Him because of who he is. Isn't it more important to focus on being joyful no matter what, having peace through the storm, having a victorious attitute and praising God no matter what we may be facing? Let's go deep and not have a shallow faith based on circumstances. In this life we will have heartache, we will have pain and have trials. But we can find comfort in knowing that Jesus was in the world and has gone through the same issues and overcame them. He was victorious and wants to see us living in victory even when things get hard. He is my comforter in Him I find refuge. Thank you Lord for your peace and love.

no nap

I am doing surprisingly well despite the fact that baby skipped his nap today. The Bible says to rejoice and give thanks continuously. No matter the circumstances I can be content. I know God gave me the strength to bear all things today. To push through and persevere. Today I got some housework done and also some reading done. It was a good day. Everyday I try to be a blessing. I was able to give time to my son and husband and encourage a few friends. All from the comforts of my home. I spent some time reading my devotional and it was so encouraging. It talked about giving time and love to your family matters. How you treat and interact with them matters. How I respond in a moment of frustration is teaching my child how to handle his own frustrations. So I was so proud of myself for responding with patience love and understanding instead of losing my cool. So it was a good day. Each day I walk in the spirit and bear good fruit is a good day. Lord I pray for ways to serve you and to be fruitful and improve the quality of the lives around me. If I can encourage somebody with a smile, then grant me the opportunity. Help me to focus on what's important and use my time wisely. Help me be a light in a dark world. Help me to live a life that is different, one that pleases you.

So he turned one and no signs of walking. He was taking his time. He knew that mama would carry him anywhere he wanted to go. This was back in March 2011. Just chillin' taking his sweet time. Well, living on the second floor doesn't help. I had to carry him up and down the stairs anytime we went somewhere. I'm pretty sure I wasn't going to let him crawl up and down stairs that I couldn't properly clean. So that limited us. After a few months of him cruising and not seeing much progress, I asked a mom what she did to encourage her tot to walk. She said "Katrina, I stopped carrying the child everywhere!" You know what she wanted to say was "Katrina, I know you carry that child everywhere you go, make him walk." haha, But really, what a revelation!!!!! !!!!! lol.......I guess I just needed somebody to tell me it was okay to put him down and make him walk. If only I would have had this advice sooner. So as soon as I decided to follow this advice, which took me 5 seconds, he did walk more. It took about 2 more months of walking hand in hand before he walked too much on his own. He still falls down once in a while. But I love his independence. I just have to make sure he stays safe. I would say it took us four to six months to master walking. In August he was still pretty new to walking, not steady, about 3 months in, and he fell. Only this time he needed stiches. Four to be exact. Four hours in the waiting room on a Friday night was not how I planned my evening. Why wasn't I more cautious. Why wasn't I one step closer. Scarred for life.......litterally........there is a scar on his little face. As parents we do our best to protect our children but even if we are standing right there next to them they can get hurt. I am always praying for wisdom but realize his life is in God's hands. I continue to pray for my son's protection and safety, but release my worries and fears to God. Only then can I live in freedom and allow peace to rule my heart. For the dangers and troubles in this world are great. But our God is greater. I also have to see past the scar. Past the lie that says I am a failure for allowing this to happen. Accidents do happen. Also I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. What good can come out of this? Realizing my love for me son, how to persevere through the storm, seeing God's faithfulness, remembering to count my blessings. The list goes on. Thank you Lord for sparing my son's life. How fragile is our life. It's but a mist the Bible tells us. Thank you Lord for being my rock, my comforter and protector. Anyways back to walking. After we encouraged our son to walking into buildings it took way longer. Yes it would now take four times longer to walk into church or anywhere we took our son. It probably took longer to walk from the car into church then it took to drive to church. No joke, our church was literally in our neighborhood. Yes, there were a few tears, from all involved in the situation at times. Sometimes he didn't want to walk. Yes, I did give in and carry him after the first 1omin, having moved what seemed like inches towards the church building. Yes, I still carried him up the stairs. Yes we were very late sometimes. Yes, it was hard at times, but let me tell you: it was so worth it. It took work and effort on part though. Even though it was work at times, we had some special moments. I remember my son holding mommy and daddy's hand and looking up and looking around and walking. Such a precious time. A beautiful time. Amazing how something so small can make such a huge impression.

Moving to Dayton

So much has happened. July 2010 we moved to Dayton with our 3 month old. Wow. Moving was a nightmare. Not really thrilled about moving and leaving my friends didn't make the process of packing any easier on me. And yes I say "me", with no family close by and a husband who worked and went to school full time, it had to all be on me. Praise the Lord for some ladies in the church who helped me, although they were sad to see me go, as was I sad to leave them. I do miss our two little bedroom condo with colorful paint in everyroom. With a patio door for the dog to run outside and where the baby and I could sit and relax as we watched neighbors walk back and forth to the pool. Yes I miss that little place. But God had another plan for us. Now looking back I am still not sure what our time in Dayton was. See, we live, we loved, and then ...................we left. Which this is making it very difficult for me to formulate close friends here in Kentucky. I keep looking back on Dayton and saying..........hey, that was the time of my life............I was so loved there and had so much going on that it would take something major to happen to top that. Now, I have made friends, but I have been keeping my distance. I feel I am robbing myself of ministry and friendships for fear we will move again and that it won't be like what I had before. Yet, until I let go of the past, even though it was good, I can't really move forward. Our time in Dayton was meaningful, it was encouraging and uplifting. A time for healing and releasing. Definitely a time for spiritual growth and building confidence. See everytime we move I gain insight and confidence. I become more secure in who I am in Christ and rely less and less on what others have to say. I heard or read somewhere to be "dead to praise and criticism". We all need encouragement, but if I depend on others for my daily dose I am putting my trust in man. Which by the way, is a great way to get your heart broken and your self-esteem smashed. The less and less I depend on others, and the more I know HIM, the more peace reigns in my life. It doesn't really matter what others think of me. We should do our best to be humble and lead a blamless life. Amen. That was a good sermon even if I am mostly preaching to myself. Like I said, a time for growing means looking at what I have been through and learning from it. I don't have it all together, not by a longshot. I keep praying like Solomon did......and continue to ask for wisdom. What are you looking back at? Where are you putting your trust?How can you become dead to praise and criticism? Lord, I pray that you will continue to rule my heart and give me the confidence to know who I am and depend less and less on what others think of me.

worry

Don't do it. Just don't. Pray about everything. Lord help me not to worry about how I am spending my time and to have the energy to do your will. Give me ideas on how to spend my time better. Help me be a confident woman and not insecure. Help me treat others with patience and love.